Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Another year

I've been stuck in bed with a bad bout of cold the past several days and my phone decided to take a dive into some water yesterday. So not only am I homebound for new years, but I'm pretty sure my phone is beyond repair, which means I've lost pictures from Christmas of Abbie and a few necessary files I kept on my phone. I mean when it rains, it pours over here I swear.


But all the same, the year is finally almost over, so maybe this is a last lesson in letting go and being at peace. 2013 wasn't a bad year for me up until the last three months of it, but it was the year of lessons more than others. I've learned how to be a stronger person, a better mother, and wiser with my choices in life, including people. Heartbreaks happened. Successes happened. And most importantly, Owlfish grew and is healthy. That's all I could ever ask for. :)

So here's a quick recap of this wild year on the blog:



January

Started a photography challenge, and managed to complete it! Joined the panther family at Georgia State. Started burlesque lessons, attended to a clothing swap, and went on a lot of nature walks. The Atlanta Lolita High Tea. Abbie had plenty of playdates with her friends and we battled some wild weather.


February

Started my Things I'm Obsessed With posts.  Went to the Georgia Aquarium for Valentine's Day and watched Abbie develop her dislike for penguins. Learned some hard lessons about life. 


March

Had a visit from an old friend. Abbie discovered the wonder of bucket sitting. Attended Momo Con 2013 and had my first artist table at FWA 2013. Celebrated Ostara with my munchkin and found my new favorite drink. Ran away to Helen for a day. 


April



May



June

Went on hiatus and took a break from blogging. Started back at college as a Georgia State student. Attended Frill by Affrilliation convention. Started weaning Abbie off the pacifier. 


July



August

Enjoyed between semester break with visits to Atlanta, trips to the High museum, and dealt with Owlfish's first major illness. 


September

Started Fall semester. Went to the Gwinnett County fair, where Abbie won prizes for being cute. Became a copperhead. Started a Facebook page for my art.


October

Welcomed my favorite month and life started to unravel. Talked about Ouija boards and became part of the "Revolver-lution". Most importantly, Abbie's Monster's Inc themed birthday and turning two. Hallowe'en Playlists! Celebrated the Samhain and was a brat the entire night.


November



December

Stalled out. Had to learn to change and adapt. Shared lots of pictures of Abbie playing and Thanksgiving time with the family. Started rebuilding and moving on. Met new people and got good grades. Attended the Lolita Holiday party and butted heads with my stubborn child. Celebrated Christmas. 



Yep, it's been a hell of a year. And I'm honestly glad it's over with, even if it was only the past several weeks that have really bitten the dust. I'm hopefully for 2014 and what it may bring. I plan to keep up with some weekly blog posts and start using my actual camera more for photo posts. Lots of art projects in mind! 

Out with the old, in with the new. I hope all of you, whether reader or friend, family or stranger, 
have a happy new year! 
And please, PLEASE, be responsible and stay safe tonight! xoxoxo




Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry and Bright


Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Yule! 
May all your dreams come true and your loved ones be near! 
And always remember that no matter what, somebody loves you, 
even if it;s just us two crazy girls!

Love, Owlfish and Family



Monday, December 23, 2013

Learning to walk again

We can thank the Foo Fighters for the title today, but that song has been a good motivation. So sue me.

I know it's been a bit since I've posted, but all things considered, I think the hiatus was necessary. It's been kind of weird, yet oddly therapeutic to suddenly let myself stall out, not really moving from my bed, auto-pilot if I had to. The con of it was that it was clearly obvious I wasn't making any  attempt to be active or even decent sometimes. And I definitely slacked on being a proper mom. But I guess that's what comes with heartbreak.  Stall out, be sad, pick up, move on, heavy boots and all. One foot in front of the other.


I can finally say though I'm doing much better and things are finally moving on up. Finished out my fall semester with surprisingly great grades, still maintaining my 3.1 GPA. Once again, I have the best support system to help me reach the finish line. I snagged a job with Picture People for the holiday season, but got the good news yesterday that I am beginning my trial period to stay permanently! Hopefully this means I will start learning the ropes of being a studio photographer next year.

And Owlfish is still Owlfish. We've been dealing with the grumps and terrible twos hardcore this past week; she is all sassy attitude and we've butted heads a lot lately. I think she is as frustrated with me as I am with her somedays. But she is growing and curious, and enthralled with Christmas. I'm not quite sure she entirely gets it yet, but she's fascinated with the christmas tree and decorations. We've also almost reached the no-bink finish line and have begun potty training! I'm enjoying these days with her, even the rough ones, because she will start daycare in January and suddenly I'll be facing longer days we aren't together anymore. She's my constant and I will forever say it: She is everything I need and she is magic.

Here are a couple instagrams and pictures from the past several weeks to enjoy. Now that life is moving forward, I'll be back on more often.


December 14, Owlfish and I attended the Atlanta Lolita Community's annual Holiday Party and Cookie exchange. I'm so grateful to the lovely ladies and my friends in the community that are so caring and patient with Abbie. She adores them. Our outfits from the day! My headdress is a creation by Chelsea Johnson, my dress is Ick by Inkbunny,  and Abbie's dress is from Target.




Abbie's also figured out how to take "selfies" with my phone. I'll sometimes pick up my phone to find 30+ pictures of her cheesing and giggling. She took the picture of us on the left



On the right is a handmade postcard from my dear friend Shelbie, who's been a pillar of strength and a wonderful person to me. She took the photo that made the postcard. She also recently celebrated her 22nd birthday and 6 months with her just as awesome boyfriend! (PS- She's a photographer too! Go check her out: http://www.sminearphotography.com

On the left is a picture of my favorite book, White Oleander by Janet Fitch. Needless to say it has seen better days and I should really consider tucking this away in a safe place and buying a new copy. I just can't bring myself to yet.




Thursday, December 12, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

Not much to say, but here are a few pictures from Thanksgiving 2013 at our house. I hope you all had a thankful day too~
















Monday, December 02, 2013

One Foot in Front of the Other

Well...I guess now that things are done, I will finally post about what has been going on lately.

Daniel and I are no longer together. It wasn't a mutual decision, but it was in the end necessary. Either way, he is now not a part of mine or Abbie's lives. Maybe one day that will change, but it isn't worth stopping life about. We've both decided for now it is best to not be in each others lives physically and emotionally, as well as via the internet. So for those who are still in contact with him, please, let him be. This had to happen.

Abbie has been a trooper. The first several days were rough on her, but she has been adapting much quicker than I have. She's very much aware that things have drastically changed, but she is still just as happy and amazing as she always has been. I know this too will eventually be gone from her mind. She's still young.

And me? In all honesty, I have not been taking it well. It's hard to hear the person you love tell you they don't want to be with you anymore. Even though lack of love and care was not the reason for the split, differences in life were. If this has taught me anything, it is that I cannot hope to have a full and healthy relationship with another person until I am able to stand on my own two feet, care for my child on my own, and be happy with myself. And that the other must be just as stable and happy too. Daniel and I were not there with our lives yet. We still had some growing to do alone. This wasn't my choice, but I know it was the right one. I don't hate him or not care about him. I wish him all the best.

This time has also shown me that I have the best support system possible. This post may seem put together, but I have not been. My friends have been so patient, loving, and helpful with me as I try to pick up the pieces. They are more than I can ever ask for, and I will never be able to thank them enough. My dad has been there to hug me and tell me it'll all be ok. And Abbie has been my biggest push to keep moving forward. She is my rock and my constant. She is always there with a smile and some new random thing she's found. I have her. I know what real love it because I have her and I always will.

From here, I just have to somehow keep moving. This isn't my first heartbreak, I'm sure it won't be my last. School is almost out for the semester, I just have this week and finals next week before the holidays. Come then, I can finally start rebuilding from the ground up. Things have to change and I need to be the change. I'll be ok eventually.

For now, I need to just be sad.